The Prayer of the Expat Wife*

Heavenly Father,

Look down on us, your humble obedient expat wives, 

who are doomed to travel this earth, following our loved ones

through their working lives to lands unknown.

We beseech you, oh Lord,

to see that our plane is not hijacked,  that it won't crash,

that our luggage is not lost or pillaged and our overweight baggage goes unnoticed.

Give us this day divine guidance in our selection of houses, maids, and drivers.

We pray that the telephone works, the roof does not leak,

the power cuts are few, and the rats and cockroaches even fewer.

Lord, please lead us to good, inexpensive restaurants where wine is included

in the meal and the food does not cause dysentery.

Have mercy on us, Lord, if it be the latter, and make us fleet of foot to make it to the loo in time,

and strong of knee in case we have to squat.

Also, give us the wisdom to tip correctly in currencies we do not understand.

Make the natives love us, Lord, for who we are and not what we can contribute to their worldly goods.

Grant us the strength to smile at our maids,

even though our most treasured dress resembles a rag,

or when they take bleach to clean our well admired silk rug.

Give us divine patience when we explain for the hundredth time

the way we want things done, and, Lord, if we ever lose patience

and thump them, have mercy on us for our flesh is weak.

Dear God, protect us from so-called 'bargains' we don't need and can't afford.

Lead us not into temptation for we know not what we do.

Almighty Father, keep our husbands from looking at foreign women and 

comparing them to us, and save them from making fools of themselves in nightclubs.

Above all, please do NOT forgive their trespasses for they know exactly what they do.

And when our expat years are over, Lord,

grant us the favor of finding someone who will look at our photographs and listen to our stories, so our expat lives will not have been in vain.

Amen.

*author unknown.  Given to me by my friend, Jenni, whose expat life is over.  May she rest in peace and shop at Target.  Lucky Girl!

Island

We live on an island on the other side of the world from our home.  Never has this been more apparent recently than at the grocery.  

Today I went because we were completely out of toilet paper.  Can't wait a day on that!  I did manage to find plenty of toilet paper but can't find several things: popcorn, paper towels, macaroni and cheese to name a few.

Every once and a while you find that suddenly your item is no longer there.  A week goes by..... no item.  Another week,  no item.  The entire island runs out of things.  

The island is out of popping kernels (we can get microwave, but not the kernels for homemade), grape jelly, Kraft macaroni and cheese, and the only decent paper towel in existence in Singapore.  I'm reduced to using the horrible Scott paper towel which disintegrates when it touches anything wet.  How does that work?!

Good times.

Paper Chain

Yesterday we made the World's Longest Paper Chain to count the days until we go back to the states.  Technically, I suppose, it is only the longest paper chain in our world, but it is John's world that counts!  I'll get a photo up soon. 

This serves two excellent purposes.  One: I don't have to answer or hear the question, "how many days until...." any longer, and Two: it makes a really nice way to wake the child up in the morning.  He loves to break off a chain every day and practically bounces out of bed to do it.  

We decided yesterday as we officially booked our tickets (with seat assignments).   The long flight is going to suck.  No way around it, and I am still bitter.....but "at least we have a job", right?   I can tell you that if we encounter many more cuts, that's one flight we'll take home and one less back! 

Off to Spinning!