Look down on us, your humble obedient expat wives,
who are doomed to travel this earth, following our loved ones
through their working lives to lands unknown.
We beseech you, oh Lord,
to see that our plane is not hijacked, that it won't crash,
that our luggage is not lost or pillaged and our overweight baggage goes unnoticed.
Give us this day divine guidance in our selection of houses, maids, and drivers.
We pray that the telephone works, the roof does not leak,
the power cuts are few, and the rats and cockroaches even fewer.
Lord, please lead us to good, inexpensive restaurants where wine is included
in the meal and the food does not cause dysentery.
Have mercy on us, Lord, if it be the latter, and make us fleet of foot to make it to the loo in time,
and strong of knee in case we have to squat.
Also, give us the wisdom to tip correctly in currencies we do not understand.
Make the natives love us, Lord, for who we are and not what we can contribute to their worldly goods.
Grant us the strength to smile at our maids,
even though our most treasured dress resembles a rag,
or when they take bleach to clean our well admired silk rug.
Give us divine patience when we explain for the hundredth time
the way we want things done, and, Lord, if we ever lose patience
and thump them, have mercy on us for our flesh is weak.
Dear God, protect us from so-called 'bargains' we don't need and can't afford.
Lead us not into temptation for we know not what we do.
Almighty Father, keep our husbands from looking at foreign women and
comparing them to us, and save them from making fools of themselves in nightclubs.
Above all, please do NOT forgive their trespasses for they know exactly what they do.
And when our expat years are over, Lord,
grant us the favor of finding someone who will look at our photographs and listen to our stories, so our expat lives will not have been in vain.
Amen.
*author unknown. Given to me by my friend, Jenni, whose expat life is over. May she rest in peace and shop at Target. Lucky Girl!
2 comments:
I almost got totally busted reading your blog- too much laughing! How are you, my friend? I've been neglecting my blog- I'm all about that newfangled facebook contraption now. LOL Yes, still running, but slowly. Did the half with my mom but haven't posted it yet (mostly because adding the pictures drives me crazy!) I totally thought of you at the half, and will think of you at the Princess half as well! Jealous?!
Too funny! Leave it to Jenni to find something so appropriate (although you need to change rats to geckos). Good thing I went to body pump today so I have "strength of knee" in case I come across a squatty potty!
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